Friday, April 3, 2015

C is for Crying


So glad I took them to the "Fun" Park...




On Day 3 of the A -Z Challenge, C is for Crying.




There was a lot of crying.  Meltdowns.  Losing it for no apparent reason.   It's bad enough when meltdowns happen at home, but when out in public it is a nightmare.  So many times I just wanted to crawl in a hole.  If I was somewhere that I could grab the kids and just leave, I would.

I used to take David shopping with me when I was pregnant with Michael.  He was really good in the stroller.  Everyone used to compliment me on how quiet he was and how beautiful he was.  And he was a gorgeous baby if I do say so. (and handsome now!).  But when it was time to leave, all holy hell would break loose.  He would throw out his arms and legs, totally stiff, so I could not get him in the car seat.  I don't remember how I figured it out, but if I started the car first and put the Eminem song 'Without Me' on the radio, he would allow me to put him in the seat.

Michael was prone to melting down at the drop of a hat.  If I was out with both boys by myself and Michael melted down, David would become visibly upset  Michael would try and go in one direction, David in the other.  After a couple of episodes, it was just easier to stay home and go out running errands when my husband was home and could watch the kids.


I took them to the 'fun' park.  They cried.




We took them to the barber to get a hair cut.  Michael cried.




We were just playing in the backyard.  Michael sat down in the grass and cried.  I have no idea why.



Once Michael began attending pre-school, it would take my husband and me literally two hours to get both boys dressed, fed and out of the house.  When I dropped Michael off, he would scream bloody murder.  I could hear him screaming as I would walk down the hallway of the school to the front door.  I was sick to my stomach ever single morning.  I wanted to cry myself.  When I picked him up at the end of the day, he would have to push the elevator button on the way out of the school.  If I didn't let him push that button, he would cry for about 2 hours.

Part of the frustration for Michael was not being able to communicate.  He did not really speak when he started pre-school and did not speak clearly even through fourth grade.  His lack of being understood as well as disruptions to his routines would primarily cause these meltdowns although sometimes there seemed to be no trigger for a particular meltdown.

We still struggle to this day with outbursts from Michael.  He still remains a creature of habit and he will tend to have mini-meltdowns or outbursts when there is a change of routine or he gets upset with someone or something.  I suspect this will be an ongoing struggle for us.





14 comments:

  1. The crying at drop off. When my son started preschool at 2, he was like that. He was a communicator, but has never been able to cope with emotions. He now has a diagnosis of mood disorder. It is so hard not knowing what to do for them. Your boys were beautiful babies!

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    1. thank you Lauren. You are so right, it's so hard when you don't know what to do for them. Luckily as he began to speak, the tantrums started easing off. And thankfully he LOVES school now!

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  2. My child with autism is a teenager now, so she doesn't cry when we go to the fun park, beach, party anymore. Her tears have turned into complaints with extra moaning and groaning. We went to 6 flags last week and she asked how would we know when I was time to come home. I told her we would leave when everyone started to get grumpy. She said "You mean when everyone ELSE starts to get grumpy? Because you know I will be grumpy before we even get there." Lol.

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    1. Hi Scarlet! sorry, but I had to laugh with that grumpy comment! Yeah I get that here too. Mostly Michael as usual. He's 12. Generally both of mine are game for anything, but when Michael has enough he lets everyone know it. Over and over again! thanks for stopping by! xoxo

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  3. My daughter has an intelluctual disability and is non-verbal and has had her share of outbursts. I hear you about scrambling for the nearest exit. Thankfully we can share stories, shed tears and share some laughs over things and situations no one else can truly appreciate.

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    1. Hi Karyn - thank you for stopping by. It is nice to know we're not alone that's for sure. I think back to some of the things we have dealt with and sometimes it's sad, but sometimes it is really funny. xoxo

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  4. I don't have a lot of direct experience with people with Autism but I am always struck by how frustrating it must be to not be able to communicate with the people around you. Crying seems like a perfectly reasonable response to that frustration, as heartbreaking as it must be to you as a mother.


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    1. You are so right, not to be able to communicate has to be totally frustrating. We felt totally helpless in the beginning when we had no idea of what he wanted or was trying to say.

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  5. Oh, heavens, I hope my last comment didn't come across as dismissive or judgmental. My intent was empathy with both you and your sons. <3

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    1. It did not sound that way to me at all Christine! I appreciate your stopping by and commenting. xoxo

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    2. Thanks, Judi! I'm glad.

      I'm happy to have discovered your blog. :)

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    3. come back anytime! :) xoxo

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  6. I did a lot of crying as a kid and had meltdowns, though I wasn't autistic. The worst period was during elementary school, but later, I got better control of my emotions. There was a lot of heavy emotional stuff going on at home for me and I was sensitive. I'm guessing your boys are highly sensitive to things that you wouldn't even notice and that causes breakdowns. Maybe the wrong color, the wrong texture, the way someone looked... could have totally different meanings for a child.
    Maui Jungalow

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    1. Hi Courtney, that's part of it. But most of Michael's meltdowns was over any small change to his routine. If I took another route home, or he didn't press the elevator button after school or god forbid the cable went out! He's gotten better with the meltdowns, we just need to reign in the outbursts.- xoxo

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