MEMORIAL DAY ~ Remember the Fallen...

As we enjoy this beautiful Memorial Day weekend, think for a moment about those who fought and gave the ultimate sacrifice to ensure and protect our freedoms...

Reflections From My First A - Z Challenge

I SURVIVED!  

This was my first A - Z Challenge.  I had considered it the prior two years, but didn't think I would have been able to complete the challenge.  This year, on March 31, I decided I would give it a shot.  I registered my blog, changed the settings, then wrote my first post A is for Autism Awareness Month.  Being a personal, lifestyle type blog, I picked my A topic because it applied to me and my family.  I began jotting down ideas for the rest of the letters, and figured my theme would be whatever grabbed my attention.  However, one of the A to Z admins visited my blog and left a comment that autism was a great topic and she was glad I chose it.  So I my theme morphed from a little of everything, to autism and I revisited and revised my list.  

I read many blogs over the course of the challenge.  I picked some from the list of participants, visited those that commented on my blog and also some that commented on blogs I also commented on.  I picked up some new followers and am likewise following over a dozen more.  

There are just too many to list as favorites.  I enjoyed a variety of different blogs from food, pottery, music and movies to supernatural, fairy tales, and several writers' blogs.  Several of the A-Z Challenge admins visited my blog with words of encouragement and I appreciated that greatly.  A special shoutout to my friend Courtney over at Maui Jungalow who had tried to get me started in the previous years.  I really enjoyed her challenge theme of living on Maui.  It really opened my eyes to the fact that the grass is always greener...

I know it got crazy, especially towards the end.  I was excited to meet some of you via comments and the time constraints made me that much more grateful for the time you took to comment on my posts and visit my blog.  

I have to admit the challenge was more fun than I thought and I look forward to participating next year.  

xoxo,
judi

Z is for Zoo

On the 26th day of the A - Z Challenge, Z is for Zoo

Roger Williams Park Zoo is located in Providence, about 10 minutes or so from where we live.  In the early years, this place was my salvation.  Both David and Michael were great in a stroller and we would come here at least 4 days a week.  Sometimes my daughter would come too and we would all have a blast.

My daughter and sons

I enrolled David in an educational program Roger Williams Zoo offered to toddlers and we would go once a week for a morning session learning about one of the animals.  We spent time in a classroom type setting and then would visit the animal we learned about.  David loved it! 

In the fall there is a Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular featuring over 5000 lighted pumpkins with different themes every year.  The display is fabulous and we usually go twice during the month of October.

The early school years included many field trips to Roger Williams Park Zoo which I chaperoned and it was always a great time.  

The zoo also features a popular butterfly exhibit during summertime.  This year during April vacation there was a preview of the exhibit. A butterfly landed on Michael, then went to me, then to David.  I hear it's good luck when a butterfly lands on you.

Santa comes to the zoo by helicopter every year.  

The Rockettes were in town for a Christmas show when the boys were younger.  Two of them came to the zoo to greet those of us who donated coats for a coat drive.  David and Michael loved saying hello to them and the girls graciously posed for a photo!  Michael was enthralled.  

Mikey looked like the cat who swallowed the canary!  David was pretty happy too!

In the past there was a polar bear exhibit.  It had become outdated and they wanted to redo it, although as of now that project seems to have been put on hold.  But when the exhibit was there and David was very young, the polar bears had a baby.  He was named Tristan and he seemed to like David (or his Old Navy baseball cap).  Every time we would go to the zoo, we would wait by the window of the enclosure and Tristan would come down and swim near David. It was so cool! 

There was a dinosaur exhibit one year at the zoo.  I took the boys and Michael took off running.  I was panicked, but as I was going through the trail looking for him, that little shit was peeking around the corner laughing.  As I went after him, he ran.  Then he stopped, peeked around another corner and laughed.  Finally I got him and strapped him in the stroller.  

The zoo was one of the few places I felt comfortable taking the boys when they were little.  It was only a few minutes from home and most of the time they were fine in the stroller.  We never tired of going there and we even visited last week during April vacation.  They are now introducing some programs where you can pay to feed some of the animals.  I think we'll have to try it!

Thanks for visiting my blog during the A-Z Challenge.  I have enjoyed meeting and 'chatting' with some of you and appreciate the comments and follows!  

Y is for Yesterday

On the 25th day of the A - Z Challenge, 
                 Y is for Yesterday


"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
oh, I believe in yesterday"

As I was trying to come up with a Y post, this song popped into my head, so I decided to go with Yesterday as my Y post.  

It seems like yesterday that we had two beautiful little babies with all the hopes and dreams that new parents have. 

It seems like yesterday that we spent hours in the emergency room when David had a severe reaction to dairy and we learned about his food allergies, which Michael later shared.   

It seems like yesterday when we received the devastating diagnosis of autism for our sons. 

It seems like yesterday that I was up driving around all night so that Michael would finally go to sleep, stopping at an all night Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee and later at a construction port-o-potty so I could pee.

It seems like yesterday that we began this 'autism' journey, not even knowing what autism was, and having to navigate through immunizations and education.

It seems like yesterday when David finally answered me instead of repeating everything back to me.  

It seems like yesterday when we planned our first vacation and stressed out wondering if the boys would flip out being away from home.

It seems like yesterday when Michael finally became fully toilet-trained.

It seems like yesterday when Michael would melt down practically every day for some reason or another.

It seems like yesterday when I was pretty much home-bound because I wanted to avoid the embarrassment of being out in public if the boys acted up.

It seems like yesterday when I would drop Michael off at school and listen to his cries and screams as I walked out the door.

It seems like yesterday when we rented our beach house the first time.

It seems like yesterday when we first ate out together as a family in a restaurant.

It seems like yesterday when the boys got awards at school for their high scores on the NECAP tests.

It seems like yesterday when David was appointed to Student Council and later, Michael was too.

It seems like yesterday when we took NY by storm, went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Michael navigated the subway system and got us around.

It seems like yesterday when both boys made the High Honor Roll at their middle school.

It seems like yesterday when they were just babies and not young men.

We've come a long way from yesterday's trials and successes and are looking forward to many tomorrows.  

X is for Xanax

On day 24 of the A - Z Challenge X is for Xanax

Couldn't think of an X word that would have been relevant, so I went with Xanax!  I don't take it.  But I do know several moms that have autistic children that do.  They call it their 'happy pill'.  Personally, I prefer a martini!

I thought I'd lighten it up today with some of my favorite xanax memes!

W is for What Comes Next?

On Day 23 of the A - Z Challenge, W is for What Comes Next?

When I was younger, I never knew anyone who was autistic.  My only perception of autism was from the movie Rainman. Today, it seems that everyone either knows someone or has a family member that is on the spectrum.  

However, when I wonder about what happens in the future, I am very concerned.  My husband and I aren't going to live forever.  In the earlier years, I worried what will happen to David and Michael when we aren't around.  My daughter said to me a couple of years ago when she had started seeing her current boyfriend, "You know Mom, I told Tom that if anything ever happens to you and David, I would take care of David and Michael."  As they are getting older, I think David will be able to be self-sufficient.  I do worry about Michael, but between his brother and sister, he should be OK too.

But what about the others.  Sure, some on the more mild side of the spectrum will go to college and have meaningful careers.  Some will have siblings or close relatives to help out.  However, there are many more that have severe issues, impairing their ability to live on their own.  What will happen to them?  One woman I know has a 13 year old nephew with autism.  He is totally non-verbal and still in diapers.  He is prone to outbursts and is uncontrollable so he was placed in a hospital program a year ago.  They were told he would be toilet trained in 6 months.  He's not. For all intents and purposes, he's institutionalized.

Dateline did a one hour special earlier this month where Kate Snow and the Dateline team followed the journey of two autistic boys and their families.  Currently, developmentally disabled children can stay in the education system until they are 21.  Once they turn 21, they are no longer eligible for state programs.  Dateline reported on the 3 years after the boys turned 21 and how difficult it was for the families to get them into a good program, how the progress these kids made over the years of special education was in danger of being lost, how they families spent every penny they had to try and find constructive outlets to keep the boys from regressing in speech and social progresses.  The eventual outcome for both families was relatively positive, after great personal expense to the families, but frankly I was a little disappointed in the show.  I think it portrayed the exceptions but not the norm that happens to a lot of severely affected kids and their families.  I read that almost 80% of special needs kids ultimately live in broken homes, that one of the parents just can't deal with the situation and they leave.  At one point during the Dateline show, one of the alternatives was to place one of the boys in a program where the other autistic young adults just sat around all day and had no real structure or learning to their day.  They were just put in a room to occupy their time, lost in their own worlds.  

In the next few decades, as the children outlive their parents, I am very concerned as to what is going to happen to those incapable of caring for themselves and what type of care they will be able to get, if any.    

 

V is for Vaccine

On Day 22 of the A - Z Challenge, V is for Vaccine

Vaccines are a hot topic for debate.  On the one hand, vaccines have eradicated many once deadly diseases.  They protect us from other debilitating diseases.  But ongoing questions remain as to the safety of vaccines, especially in relation to autism.  

The CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics assure us over and over that there is no evidence that vaccines cause autism.  Furthermore, a formerly well respected doctor was caught falsifying data which claimed there was a vaccine-autism link.  In spite of all this, many parents continue to insist that vaccines caused their childens' autism.

In 2000, I read an article in the American Bar Association magazine regarding the increase of autism from 1 in 10,000 20 years prior to 1 in 150.  The culprit, some believed was thimerosal, a mercury additive that was used to stabilize multi-dose vaccines.  My husband and I did further reading on the subject and decided to err on the side of caution and not allow our baby to receive vaccines with thimerosal.  

I followed all the recommendations when pregnant regarding staying away from fish containing mercury, exercised and followed a very healthy diet.  When my son was born, we read all the inserts in the vaccines and if there was even a trace amount of thimerosal in a particular vaccine, we obtained a prescription from our pediatrician and procured the vaccine from another pharmaceutical company that did not contain thimerosal.  We fully vaccinated my son.

When pregnant with Michael, we took the same precautions.  He was a difficult baby.  I was up at all hours with him while David was the calm angelic type, but he had a few quirks.  One thing we noticed was he would balance a ring from his toy on his finger and watch it go back and forth.  But we dismissed any question of autism as I fully believed thimerosal was responsible for the increase in autism but neither of my sons received any vaccine with thimerosal.  

Let me say for the record that I fully believe with 100% certainty that my sons' autism was directly caused by thimerosal in vaccines.  You may wonder "How is that possible if you didn't give them any vaccines with thimerosal?"

One night, Michael wouldn't sleep and we were flipping through the TV channels.  We came across C-Span where they were repeating a Congressional Hearing called Vaccines and Autism.  As we watched, one of the doctors testifying  stated thimerosal was also in the Rho-GAM shots given to pregnant women at 28 weeks if they had a negative blood type.  It was also given if there was any bleeding during pregnancy or if an amniocentesis was done.   I could feel the blood drain from my face.  My blood type is O-. I had early bleeding with Michael, so during my pregnancy with him, I received 2 RhoGAM shots, one early on for the bleeding and the "routine" one at 28 weeks. 

David is more on the mild side of the spectrum while Michael is more moderate. I had 2 shots with Michael and only 1 with David.  I never took a flu shot while pregnant as I knew they had high levels of thimerosal.  When I spoke with the Brown doctor who was researching the MMR/autism link (back in my M is for Measles post), I told him about the RhoGAM.  He said, "you're wrong. Thimerosal was taken out of RhoGAM in 2001."  But 10 minutes later he phoned back and said, "Oh my God, you were right.  There was a 2 year shelf life on the RhoGAM and you did have the shots with thimerosal."

As I am writing this, I am crying.  I put so much effort in researching the thimerosal/autism link with childhood vaccines, how could I have missed this?  I have never been able to forgive myself for not even considering thimerosal could have been in the RhoGAM.  I would have absolutely refused the shot.  When my daughter was born, the RhoGAM shot was given within 72 hours of delivery.  I would have insisted on that protocol, or I would have sought out a thimerosal free shot.  When I started researching RhoGAM after the fact, I found an interesting statistic.  I don't know if the numbers have changed but 11 years ago there was a study that said 15% of the entire population is RH- (negative blood type).  But at that time 50% of autistic children had mothers that were RH-.

The CDC and other doctors claim autism has risen because of environmental issues, genetic tendencies and better diagnosis.  In 2000, autism was 1 in 150. Now, in 2015, it is 1 in 68.  I am no rocket scientist, but I don't buy it.  It is too much of a jump in only a 15 year time-frame.  There may be some part of genetics playing a role but I believe the thimerosal is the trigger.  

I believe in vaccines.  I do not believe in thimerosal.  In single dose vaccines, the addition of thimerosal is not necessary except to pad the pockets of the thimerosal manufacturers.  For every company that uses thimerosal in it's vaccine, there is another that doesn't.  There have been no comprehensive studies on either side that have or haven't proved the thimerosal/autism link conclusively, just the reviews of old studies and new limited studies.  When they 'researched' the effects of giving 2 flu shots in 2009 when the H1N1 strain came out, I read the control group was a group of 11 people.  Are you kidding me?  

Since 2009 when both regular flu shots AND H1N1 flu shots were given to babies and pregnant women, autism numbers increased from 1 in 88 to 1 in 68.  My sons have egg allergies and do not get flu shots. Flu shots are manufactured in single dose and multi-dose vials.  Multi-dose vaccines need a preservative. So maybe it's time to eliminate the multi-dose vials.

We are fortunate. David and Michael are autistic but don't have some of the severe issues that others are dealing with. I am confident this is due to our insistence in ensuring that they didn't get childhood vaccines with thimerosal.  I truly believe their autism would have been much more severe had we not been diligent with their vaccines.  

Back in 2000, the CDC said that thimerosal was taken out of vaccines.  That was an outright lie.  Vaccine manufacturers had cut back on thimerosal but in many cases use a trace amount.  The Bush Administration granted pharmaceutical companies the ability to claim vaccines were thimerosal-free even if they contained a trace amount of thimerosal.  Even if claimed 'thimerosal-free', the package insert would still list thimerosal.  Also, since the number of vaccines have increased, how many trace amounts may cause an issue?  Each person processes mercury differently so 10 shots with 10 'trace' amounts may affect a number of children differently, therefore the 'spectrum'.  In addition, the flu shot does not contain a 'trace' amount of thimerosal but up to 50 micrograms of thimerosal.  So given the increased number of vaccines, some containing the trace amount of thimerosal and the flu shots which have more than a trace amount, the 'reduction' of thimerosal which the CDC claims in vaccines is really an oxymoron.  

The Vaccine and Autism Congressional hearing we watched also contained testimony from a respected research doctor at Baylor College of Medicine who said when adult brain cells were brought in contact with thimerosal, they sent off some type of shoots to 'get away' from the thimerosal.  He said he wanted to continue his research as he was seeing the same patterns in both autism and alzheimer's brains.  Given the number of elderly getting flu shots every year, I found this comparison interesting.  

In addition, the Homeland Security bill passed after 9-11 had a provision snuck in last minute which prevented pharmaceutical companies from lawsuits for thimerosal harm.  So if thimerosal is so safe and not an issue, why was this provision snuck in, in the eleventh hour of the Homeland Security Bill?  

My question however is this?  Since thimerosal is not a necessary component of single dose vaccines and does not affect the efficacy of the vaccines, why not actually take ALL of the thimerosal out of those vaccines, and see where the statistics go?  

This post was written based on my own opinions and is based on my own research over the past 13 years.  I am not a medical doctor and I realize not everyone shares my beliefs.