Friday, May 25, 2012
Welcome to My Blog
This is my 50th year. 50 years. Half a century. It sounds so old. I remember thinking that the year 2000 seemed like an eternity away in 1976. I would be so old then, a whopping 38 years. Might as well bury me! And now, I am a mere three months away from my 50th birthday. The big 5-0. But I don’t feel old. As a matter of fact, I think I peaked in maturity at around 48 and now am in the beginning stages of regression. I am most definitely in the throes of a midlife crisis. I am grateful for my health and I love my family, but nonetheless, I am feeling unfulfilled and have a nagging feeling that I am running out of time. The result of this is? I want to have fun. That’s all.
I have always loved to read. I spent my summers lounging outside, gently swaying on a hammock tiedbetween two maple trees with a book in my hand and imagining that I could someday write my own novel. Once I got my driver’s license in my junior year of high school, my focus changed togetting a part time job and shopping at the mall. I skipped my senior year of high school and was accepted to the Early Admissions Program at the University of RhodeIsland. As a sheltered seventeen yearold Catholic school girl with no experience with boys, I was totally out of my element. When I got my first boyfriend,I wound up dropping out of school so I could travel with him to Florida. We eventually split up and I rebounded withmy ex-husband, and became pregnant. I worked a part time waitressing job and spent my spare time reading cheesy Harlequin romance novels until my daughter was born. For several years, my life was basically on hold as I was a full time mother, living in Connecticut away from my friends and family and married to a man I really didn’t like too much.
After my divorce, I moved back to Rhode Island. For nearly 8 years, I worked for my father’s flooring company, until business slowed down and I was forced to find alternate employment. I was hired as a receptionist for a personal injury law firm, and it was there that I met my husband David on a blind date. Seven years later, David proposed to me at an Italian restaurant in New York’s LittleItaly and we were married in February, 2000. By December of that year, I was pregnant with my first son. My daughter was now 19.
My daughter Jaime is approaching 29 years of age and hasgrown into a beautiful, confident independent woman. She works several jobs including the graveyard shift at Target for her benefits, teaching dance classes at a local dance studio and working on weekends for an entertainment company where she dances at Bar Mitvahs in the Boston area. When she has a free weekend, she occasionally go go dances at Foxwoods Casino and a couple of clubs in Boston. Jaime is to hip hop what Eminem is to Rap. This girl can seriously move. I don’t know where she gets it from.
I have 2 sons, David (11) & Michael (9), both of whom are autistic. After David, Jr.’s evaluation, I remember numbly sitting in the doctor’s office with my husband,vaguely processing the dismal prognosis, which was primarily based on David’s lack of speech. Now, 7 years later, my beautiful son is one of the smartest kids in his integrated classroom, and he doesn’t EVER stop talking. He can always be found with a book in his hand. His library contains books on Benjamin Franklin, Presidents, and baseball. Occasionally I even find him reading the encyclopedia! And the questions! I can’t fathom where he thinks of all his questions.
Michael is very bright also, but is very routine driven and is better at activities requiring rote skills. His comprehension has been a constant source of challenge for him (and me). He is very skillful at video games and loves to play Angry Birds on my iphone although we have set limits on the amount of time for games. I can see him someday as a creator of video games. Mikey also loves to read and learn and he is also functioning well in an integrated classroom.
I worry a lot. I worry about what will happen to my sons when my husband and I are not around. I don’t know how they will survive without us. In addition to the autism, both boys have food allergies to dairy, eggs, tree nuts and peanuts. I worry about our advancing age and the increasing likelihood that one of us could be hospitalized for surgery and if it were me, who would cook for the boys? We do not have much family support when it comes to just babysitting, never mind actually caring for them for a period of time.
So in spite of our challenges, which compared to others, are not really so bad, I am attempting to pursue my quest for fun. I am striving to make 50 FABULOUS!
That’s my story in a nutshell. So where will things go from here? I guess I’ll find out soon enough…