City Living With A Country Flair

We live in the city.  I'd rather live near the beach.  But I do love our house.  It is an undersized raised ranch on a small city lot, however, my husband purchased the lot next door about a dozen years ago which doubled the size of our property. A wooden fence and some of my landscaping later, our city lot looks more like a city park.

For the past five years, we planned on replacing the deck, which actually was just steps to the back door with a very small landing, not even large enough for a small table and chair set.  The steps wobbled, wood was rotting and the rails had been so rough with splinters that my husband took it off.  We found a reputable contractor and our new deck was built in May.  Not only did we replace the small deck at the side door, but we wrapped it around the back of the house.  

I planted a small vegetable and herb garden utilizing two raised bed kits from Home Depot and large containers dug halfway into the ground to rein in the herbs from spreading wildly.  I was even able to put a small row of corn on the back fence.

A small pond with a waterfall gives a nice soothing backdrop with the sound of running water and a massive butterfly bush attracts butterflies and even an occasional hummingbird.  We have a variety of birds visit the bird bath and come buy for an occasional suet treat!  And although I haven't seen him lately, a frog had taken up residence in the pond area this spring.

There is an 18ft above-ground pool in the back of the original lot which I opened this year in spite of the fact that we were at the beach last month.  We have been home now for a week, but I have been on house arrest.  My husband's car is stubbornly holding out for a reasonable explanation on why it keeps overheating and he had been using mine while it's in the shop, forcing me to do (the dreaded) housework.  But the boys are enjoying the pool, and we have been barbecuing and enjoying s'mores in the evening. 

 And I've been enjoying my homemade sangria while also catching up on some summer reading courtesy of some of my twitter friends!

And while I would rather be at the beach, home isn't really so bad.  And, since I am still on home confinement, I think I'll move on to trying a couple of new LUAU recipes for my 50th birthday bash next month!!


(Psst:  Don't tell anyone, but this is the Sangria recipe from a local restaurant that one of the waiters gave my hairdresser, and he passed it along to me):

SANGRIA 

made in 8 parts (ounces, cups, etc.)

3 parts ORANGE JUICE  (pulped or not)

3 parts RED OR WHITE WINE

1 part TRIPLE SEC

1 part PEACHTREE

cut up fruit to taste (I like apples and oranges)

Mix, Stir, ENJOY!!

I hope everyone is enjoying a great summer!! 

It Went By In A Flash!

It seems like yesterday that my sons and I moved to the Rhode Island coast to spend four weeks at the beach.  This past Saturday, car packed practically to the roof, we headed back home. And I am once again amazed at how fast the time flew by. 


My husband came down a couple of times on the weekends, but he didn't stay long and didn't go to the beach.  The first week was pretty relaxing, breakfast at the house, an early walk on the private beach between Galilee and Sand Hill Cove, watching the fishing boats and ferries come in and go out at Point Judith, then the afternoons at the beach.  The weather was perfect, almost every day was sunny and hot, maybe an occasional shower, but nothing like the rain that fell in spring. 

I fondly refer to this as 'my' private beach

When my daughter Jaime came down during the second week, we spent more time at the private beach and also made my son's Surfin' USA music video.  David, who is completely tone-deaf, loves to sing.  And the more he likes the song, the louder he sings.  Some friends of ours said we should put him on You Tube, that his video would go viral (it hasn't), but he heard that comment and decided he wanted to make a video for You Tube.  The choice was between Toto's Rosanna or The Beach Boys' Surfin' USA.  Since we were at the beach, we decided on Surfin' USA.  We set up camp about midway down the private beach, and hopefully the waves drowned out the 'singing' for the unsuspecting residents!  Tripod up, an audio and video test and Take 1 was underway.  

Some of the early morning walkers went by, and several laughed, one gave a thumbs up and David was absolutely thrilled.  Another take and we decided to go with that!  Check it out, it's pretty funny!  Mikey was the back up dancer and he was pretty hilarious too, especially when he put his hands over his ears as he swayed back and forth!

David Sings Surfin' USA

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-tLkFOgHTo

Last year, we met a family originally from RI but who now lives in Connecticut.  Their three boys are a little younger than David & Mikey, but they all became fast friends last July.  Thanks to Facebook, their mom Mary & I kept in touch, meeting up at the beach in late August for one last 2011 beach day, and even planning a day trip this spring at Mystic Seaport.  


Mary's mother Marcia rents a house in Narragansett for five weeks but only three of their weeks coincide with ours.  Mary's sister Marci was also at the house and several of her eight brothers and sisters popped in for some family time throughout July.  


Mary and the boys arrived right before 4th of July and the kids picked up right where they left off last year, boogie boarding for hours and playing in the sand.  The baby, Nicholas, now nearly 3, kept up with the other boys and even acclimated himself to a boogie board!  They flew kites, played on the beach well after the lifeguards went home, played with a rocket blaster (nerf type) and nerf like air guns with foam bullets.  Mary, Jaime and I went to Champlins for seafood dinners and margaritas, and we saw some beautiful sunsets and even a couple of rainbows.

Fried Clams Dinner and Lobster Roll at Champlins in Galilee

Fishing Boats at Sunset in Galilee

Double Rainbow over the water at Scarborough Beach
Looked like the rainbow was sitting on the water.

Marcia, Marci and her two daughters, Jaime and I set up a little camp on the beach every afternoon.  Umbrellas went up, blankets were laid out, coolers got lined up, beers and Mike's Lemonades flowed freely for the hours of debates, conversation and just plain old sunbathing.  Linda, one of my closest friends who also lives at the beach for the summer and Cindy, the daughter of my landlords, also met up with us on the beach.  


Another close friend of mine, Lori, rented a house in nearby Bonnet Shores.  She and her daughter Gianna joined me, Cindy, Cindy's friend Cheryl and our kids for a Lighthouse Sunset Tour around Narragansett Bay.  The ride took almost 2 hours and we went through Newport Harbor which was absolutely gorgeous.  In addition to the massive yachts and various sized sailboats in the harbor, we also saw Eric Clapton's boat the Blue Guitar, although no sign of Clapton himself.

Plum Beach Lighthouse - Near Jamestown Bridge

The Blue Guitar - Eric Clapton's boat.

There were a couple of nights playing Mexican Train Dominos at Linda's house, and espresso martinis.  I held three movie nights, featuring 80's comedies that the boys could watch:  Weekend at Bernies 1 & 2 and Tootsie, complete with microwave popcorn and pina coladas for the adults.  

I remembered Mary mentioning breakfast in Galilee and there was a small snack bar called Salty's Landing right in the beach pavilion, so Jaime and I decided to try it.  There were young kids working the cash register in the front, but an older gentleman in the back who prepared the food.  And the breakfasts were wonderful.  French toast and bacon, egg & cheese sandwiches as well as a full egg, bacon, home fries and toast dish were all made fresh and tasted heavenly.  I can't believe it took us this long to give Salty's Landing a try!.

And our last week was almost done.  What had happened? A few months ago, summer seemed to be illusive, with the weather unseasonal even for New England.  But as I sit here scanning through photos, reflecting on our perfectly hot and sunny beach days and writing about our adventures, I am incredulous as to how again the time went by in a flash!

Living the Dream

I always dreamed of spending my summers at the beach.  I would always feel a touch of envy towards those classmates that were fortunate to have a home at the beach as the school year came to a close.  They would leave the city the day after school ended and come back on Labor Day. 

I don’t know where my love for the beach came from.  While we live less than an hour from the RI coast which is littered with gorgeous beaches, my parents really didn’t take me there very often at all.  Maybe the books I read during the summer fed my desire to be at the beach, in particular a mystery series about five pre-teen friends who met up at the beach every summer.  I read every one of their adventures, desperately wishing to be a part of them. 

Ultimately, my dream to spend summers at the beach never materialized.  In my early 40’s, I never got to the beach at all.  My sons had sensory issues related to their autism and didn’t like the sand.  In addition, my youngest son Michael was extremely difficult to handle in the early years and it was nearly impossible to take both kids out alone.  And, my husband hates the beach. 

Last year I had the opportunity to rent a house in Narragansett and I took it.  My husband was not happy about my decision, but I really didn’t care.  My sons and I were here for a month while my husband stayed in the city.  My daughter came down for a couple of weeks too and several of my closest friends have homes at the beach.  We went to the beach everyday with old friends and made new friends.  My sons thrived.  They bonded with a two boys that also come to the beach for a month from Connecticut and the four of them boogie boarded together every day.   Time just flew.  When my husband saw how much the boys enjoyed the beach and how it positively affected their behavior, he agreed that we should do it again next year.

Boogie Boarding All Alone

So here we are, at the beach again for the month, although, a week is already behind us.  The boys from Connecticut are coming down in a couple of days.  This last week of June has been nice and the beaches are not too crowded yet.  Next week, the first week in July is when things really get hectic here.  I actually like the quiet. 

Fishing Boat Coming In ~ In Point Judith

It’s funny how my perspective changes here.  It feels like another world, the stresses are left behind.  We don’t really DO too much.  Beach, home, dinner, bed.  When my husband finally came down last year at the end of our month, he was shocked to hear that we had never gone out at night.  This year we’ll try and change that! 

The Dock at Night ~ in Galilee

I love the smell of the ocean, watching the seagulls fly, listening to the waves crash onto the shore.  To me this is heaven.  And even as I approach 50, I still feel that twinge of envy for those that are fortunate to have property here in Narragansett, and I pray that someday soon, I will too.

Slow Down & Watch the Fireflies

Sometimes, we all should take a step back and just relax.

In our 20 years together, my husband and I have never taken a vacation where we just hung around and relaxed.  Vacations are hard to come by, and were even non-existent for the first seven years of our sons’ lives.  When we do go away, it is a mad dash to cram as many activities and places as we can in each and every day.  We wind up even more exhausted by the time we get home.

However, this June, on our semi-annual weekend visit to upstate NY, we broke tradition and we relaxed.  The inn we stay at has a baseball diamond on the property and David and the boys played baseball.  I grilled burgers and hotdogs in the backyard picnic area.

Baseball at the Inn

View of the Picnic Area from our Room

The boys played chess in the lobby, my husband read the paper, and I loaded pictures on my computer.  We went out to dinner every night.

Chess in the Lobby

On two of the nights, the innkeepers, George and Tina with whom we’ve become friends, joined us for dinner.  And on the last afternoon of our stay, they took us out on their pontoon boat and Michael went swimming with George in Lake Otsego. 

Swimming in the Lake

Lake Otsego

David, the boys and I went out to dinner after we all cleaned up and it was dark by the time we got back to our room.  But as we approached the door to our room, we were welcomed by hundreds of little flashing specs of light.

FIREFLIES!!  Hundreds of them!

I had not seen fireflies in at least 35 years! When I was a kid, my neighborhood in the city still had a small area of woods and I did occasionally see a firefly, but by the time I was 15, the land had all become developed and they were gone.  Mikey and David, Jr. were mesmerized by the tiny flecks of lights flashing all around them.   We all just stood at the back door reveling in the magical scene unfolding all around us.  I went to bed that night feeling so refreshed and happy. 

Life can be crazy, but sometimes you just have to slow down and watch the fireflies.

First Impressions

First impressions can be very deceiving.  My husband I were having dinner at this newly opened little bistro when an older couple sat down at the table next to us. The boys were playing their video games as they never eat out due to their food allergies.  After the couple finished their meal, the woman commented on what beautiful sons we had and they didn’t ‘know’ boys, they only had daughters and granddaughters, four daughters to be exact and even a few great-granddaughers.

In conversation we learned the gentleman was 84 years old and he and his wife had been married for 62 years.  They had just returned to upstate NY after spending the winter in Florida.  He has an office in Florida and in NY.  He works everyday and had spent 6 hours in his garden before going out to dinner on the evening we met.

They led an accomplished life.  His company completed many major corporate construction jobs and he is also an options trader.   His wife was a founder of a charitable organization for disabled children.  He was an avid baseball fan and told David and David, Jr. about the baseball players he had met and the autographs he had accumulated over the years.  His wife remarked that we had a nice family and David, Jr. had beautiful eyes.  She was grateful that she and her husband were blessed with their family and good health.  They still play tennis everyday!

They got up to leave and I noticed them hobbling off.  Nice, sweet people, but the tennis thing didn’t really hold up.  They both had a little trouble walking and the only tennis I could see them playing was table tennis.  I chuckled to myself.

Jim, the bistro owner/waiter presented our check and David commented to him that these were the kind of people that he would want to frequent his establishment.  They said they eat out 4 or 5 times a week.  The owner laughed.  “But you don’ t know the back story,” he said.  And he then proceeded to tell us how that sweet, lovely, elderly couple has managed to get thrown out of nearly all the restaurants around the area.

Are you serious? 

He was laughing as he told us they were fine at first.  They come in and have dinner, but they drink too much and then yell and swear at the servers.  The food is too cold, the food is too hot.  The food is taking too long.  The food arrived too soon.  They don’t like the table.  They don’t like the waitress.  

But they go to the restaurant up the street which is obscenely expensive once a week.  “Oh no,” he said.  “They were thrown out of there last week!”  He said as soon as they walked in he knew who they were and said to the chef, “It’s our turn”. 

We were incredulous.  They seemed so sweet.  They were very wealthy.  They had it all, a successful marriage, family, homes, businesses, charities.  Yet, apparently, they were not the sweet little old couple we thought them to be.  It was hard for us to imagine these two getting drunk and swearing at people in the restaurant to the point that they would be asked to leave and never come back! 

While sometimes first impressions can be correct, you can learn more about a person by the way they treat a waiter or waitress.

Revoking The IEP

I had a meeting  with the Special Education team today to review David’s IEP (Individualized Education Program).  I was informed that since he has met all his academic goals and even exceeded some, he would no longer have an IEP and not be eligible to receive Special Education services any longer.  The school counselor heartily congratulated me, saying it shows wonderful guidance on the part of us parents.  We should be so proud of him.  

                                 And we are.   However…

I am not sure I am happy with this decision.  Both my husband and I knew that academically, David was making huge strides.   He is at the top of the class.  His NECAP score for writing was 477 out of 480.  His NECAP math score was also in the high 400’s.   His classwork is always submitted on time.  But his social areas are where the autism manifests.  He is a perfectionist, to the point he cries if his test score is not 100%.  If he can’t find a notebook, or a paper, it will cause him to suffer a meltdown.  If the entire class collectively is punished for bad behavior, David takes it personally and gets upset because he NEVER misbehaves.   Since we do not get outside services at home for him, my husband and I were content to have the IEP in place in case he needed the extra support.  It was a crutch.  And now that crutch is gone.

Middle school is looming in the very near future, and in any area, middle school is tough.  But here, in Providence, it is a nightmare.   I would never allow either of my sons to attend the neighborhood school in our district.  My daughter attended it over 10 years ago, and it was horrible back then.  The final straw for me there was when some girls jumped another girl and slashed her face with a knife in front of dozens of other students.   Next year David will begin 5^th grade, the last year of elementary school.   I am not overly concerned about next year, but I really worry about David in middle school once 5^th grade is completed. 

I am so proud of my son.  He has a thirst for knowledge.  He loves to read.  He is a captive audience in all of his classes.  He would rather go to a museum than an amusement park.   His teachers choose him to help other peers when they are struggling.  His progress reports and test scores could not be higher, and his teachers spoke so positively about his accomplishments.  So why am I still so conflicted with this decision to revoke his IEP?